Kickin' it with Kin

Bio dad vs step dad

By  | 

I was surfing Facebook a few weeks ago and seen a post that was shared, low key, 50,000 + times. This particular post was from the perspective of a step father to a 3 year old daughter, aimed at the biological father who had a lot to say about their relationship.

If I remember correctly, the biological father was upset that the step dad took baby girl to the nail shop, but the biological dad wasn’t financially able to do it. In response to the biological dad, the step dad claimed that dude should be happy he’s stepping in and raising his daughter when he can’t. Yup, you read that right. No way in hell! First off, both of these dudes are acting like women going back and forth on Facebook!

Neither guy is more wrong than the other, they are both the same amount of wrong and here’s why:

  • Biological dad is wrong for not sticking through whatever to stay with and keep his family together.
  • Step dad is wrong for wanting praise for raising baby girl. It’s okay to want to be appreciated, but baby girls appreciation is the only one that should matter. You made the decision to be in her life because you love her mother and that is the only reward you get big fella.
  • Biological father should never leave room for ANY man to do anything for his children.
  • Step dad is wrong for using the pictures of him and baby girl to aggravate bio pops. It’s cool if your were innocently posting pictures as memories or even out of excitement for spending time with baby girl but even still you should be understanding of bio pops and be as respectful as possible.

I can go on and on but I’d really prefer to be more positive. It’s hard for me to use this brief moment where I have your attention to feed you any negative vibes! So let’s change directions.

The coolest part of that post in my eyes was the fact that this little girl had two men in her life that loved her. As a father myself it would kill me to know another man is  under the same roof as my children and raising them, no lie. Although, I’d feel like I owe it to my children to get to know dude as much as possible. It would be my responsibility to mature at the speed of light, put my ego and attitude to the side, to make sure that this guy has pure and genuine love for my children and their mother.

Black men and women are so territorial. We come from a culture that has had to fight for everything and endure the most horrific pain amongst our family structures that we are as territorial as can be. Now is the perfect time to change that,

Try to imagine that four mature and happy adults, bio mom & dad +step mom & dad, working together to raise the children. That would be crazy dope. As the bio parents, ex’s to each other, we cannot control who the other parent chooses as a spouse. What we can do is never pass up an opportunity to get to know the man or woman that you know for sure will be in your kids life. We can talk about our parenting style sand discus boundaries. We can build trust and respect one another.

We can do all of that and respect each other at the same time! Let’s build a new family structure, simply put, one that’s healthy for the children.

 

How step dad and bio dad look fighting

Cool clip of bio dad and step dad after they settle the differences

 

 

I like long pillow talk conversations with my wife, on mondays and thursdays! Little league football is more exciting to me than the NFL. I own my own business and I love pineapples………..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.